


I don't know who I am without You

by SeleneDarkbloom



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Blame other authors who inspired me, Death, Don't Kill Me, Emotional, F/M, Feelings, Grieff, Heart Break, I Had To, I'm Going To Hell For This, Sad, it's sad, sad af, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 13:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11441520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeleneDarkbloom/pseuds/SeleneDarkbloom
Summary: Betty and Jughead have lived a life, but life ends.





	I don't know who I am without You

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for both of the writers who broke my heart. *points finger*  
> This is for you Elie and Amanda. Good luck.  
> Also wanted to thank Tinnie and Val for proofreading this.  
> There's a song in this that i would say is good to hear while reading. It's called Teenage Blue by Dreamgirl.

Jughead looked to the grey headstone in front of him, the cold winds blowing on his skin, eyes reading the black carvings over and over again. They were like sharpenned daggers in his heart.

_“In Loving memory of_

_Elizabeth Cooper-Jones_

_2001-2043_

_Beloved wife and mother”_

He placed a bouquet of yellow lilys on the ground in front of the headstone, he couldn’t help the tears falling down his eyes while he come to realize that she was gone for so long now, that he had forgotten the sound of her laugh, her sleepy voice saying good morning to him, the feeling of her hair spreaded over his naked chest. All of it was gone. He cried and his body was shaking, the guilt was crushing him.

“I’m sorry i don’t remember anymore Betty, please forgive me.” He said to the stone, hoping that somehow she’d listen to him. “Maybe I shouldn’t have listened to you, maybe if I had waited a little longer you’d still be here with me, but I can’t undo that now. If you can hear me… I love you, I always will.” He stood up and let his hand run over her name and then turned away and left.

*****

**10 Years Earlier**

“Juggie, listen to me.” Speaking had became a challenge, Betty’s lungs would cause such pain that she was mostly silent now. Jughead’s hands were caressing hers, letting her know that he was listening.

“I need you to do something for me, it’s the most selfish thing I’ll ever ask of you.” His eyebrows furrowed and he leaned in closer to her face.

“What is it Betts?” She took a deep breath before speaking again:

“I can’t live like this anymore Jug, hooked to tubes and tubes of oxygem, waiting for this cancer to eat me away. I can’t even go to the bathroom anymore, I can’t stand the look in your eyes, in Laura’s.” Jughead stopped her so she could rest her lungs, the frustrated look in her eyes, the inability to go on with a simple dialoge was one of the effects of the Lung Cancer that she had. It pained her beyond anything else she had felt.

“I have already accepted that I’m loosing my life Juggie. I just wan’t to die with what I have left of my…” She took a sharp breath, the pain was to much. But Jughead knew what was the end of her sentence.

“Your dignity.” She nodded to him. A little smile formed in her lips. He understood her so well, that was one of the many reasons why she loved him.

“Help me, Juggie. Please.” He knew what she was asking, he wouldn’t do it. He couldn’t.

Jughead stood up, hands frenetcly going through his hair. He was walking around the hospital room. Thinking and thinking ‘till he said:

“Do you have any idea what you’re asking me? Betty, how do you think I could ever do it? You’re my wife, my world. How could I simply help you die?”

“I know what I’m asking, and I know it isn’t fair, or right. But I can’t live to see you and Laura suffer watching me die, watching me loose my dignity. Do you know what it’s like not beeing able to get up to go to the bathroom, shiting my self in this hospital bed? I can’t live waiting for my two months deadline, Jughead. And I know you can’t live with it too.”

“Betts, i…” she didn’t let him finish.

“Think about it, it will be better to everyone if I go now. You won’t have to wait for a call letting you know I’m gone, you’ll be able to say goodbye and I’ll be sain enough to hear it.”

  “Betty how can you say that, asking me point blank if I could kill you? I can’t do it!” He wasn’t going to scream at her while she’s like this, but he wasn’t going to let her absurd request be taken lightly.

“You’re afraid because you can Jughead, and you also know that you should do it.” She raised her hand to cup his face. “Go home. Think about it.” He was going to protest, she didn’t let him. “Go Jug.”

*****

He openned the door to her room, his hands were sweating, the breathing was inconsistent and fast. He walked over to her and sat on the bed by her side.

“I called in a few favors, and brought something.” He said and showed her a little syringe with a transparent liquid. She knew what that was.

“Betty, are you sure you want me to do this?” He wanted her to say no, but he knew she wasn’t going to. He could choose not to do it, but he also wouldn’t say no to her.

“You know I am, Jugg.” He nodded, but before he did it, he picked up his phone and searched for one special song, their favorite, and set it to play. As soon as Betty recognised the melody, her eyes filled with tears.

**“Oh, you and i**

**Held our hands, told the time”**

“Our first dance,” she said with a smile. She took his hand into hers, her cold thumb caressing his palm, a long loving look in her eyes.

**“Oh, you and i**

**Is it the way you and I wait?”**

“Betty, what I’m about to do is my most monstrous, most loving act. If this will help you find peace, then it’s the right thing.” He was crying, he hoped what he was doing was merciful, his tears fell wetting her hands. That was it. That was their final moment.

**“My only, my only you”**

“Jug, I love you. And I’m greatful for all those years we had together, thank you for giving me the happiest life, and now death.” She took his hands to her lips and left  a gentle kiss there.

“Thank you Betty for loving me, for beeing my anchor, my friend, my partner, thank you for giving me our daughter, thank you for making me the happiest man in the world.”

**“Is it the way you and I stay?**

**Oh, you and i**

**In my mind, you were mine”**

“I’m gonna miss you so much Betty, I don’t know who I’ll be without you.” By now he was sobbing, he wasn’t ready to let her go, he would never be.

“Oh, Juggie. I’ll miss you too. But remember, I’ll always be here in your heart. I’ll make it without me, you need to. For Laura.”

He put himself on his feet, wiped away the tears and took the syringe to her serum, hesitantly he pressed the needle in and pushed the piston all the way to the end allowing the liquid to mix with the serum and be carried to her bloodstream. She would fall into a deep coma and then her breathing would stop. Betty would be dead within the next minute.

“Thank you Jug.” She said, and closed her eyes.

“Goodbye Juliet.” Jughead said, and gave a gentle peck on her forehead.

**“Oh, you and i**

**Held our hands, told the time**

**Oh, you and I**

**It’s all the same now, you were mine**

**My only, my only you”**

The beep in her heart monitor told him she was gone, seconds later doctors and nurses were storming in the room to attemp reviving her. It was all a blur while they pushed Jughead out of the room.

He felt numb while standing in the white corridor. A little while later a voice brouth him back.

“Dad? Dad? What happened?” Laura was holding him by the shoulders blue eyes wide in need for an awnser. His eyes focoused on her, golden curls, full lips she reminded him of Betty, her mother. And then it hit him: He killed her mother.

Once again tears fell from his eyes, and he mumbled an awnser

“She’s gone…I’m… I’m sorry” Laura took a few seconds before she understood her father’s words, they held each other and cried at the lost of Betty Cooper.

“I thought she had more time.” Laura said in between sobs.

“So did I.” Jughead said.


End file.
